Private Investigations

You get a shiver in the dark
It’s been raining in the park but meantime
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing Dixie double four time
You feel all right when you hear that music ring

You step inside but you don’t see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth way on downsouth London town

You check out Guitar George he knows all the chords
Mind he’s strictly rhythm he doesn’t want to make it cry or sing
And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

And Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene
He’s got a daytime job he’s doing alright
He can play honky tonk just like anything
Saving it up for Friday night
With the Sultans with the Sultans of Swing

And a crowd of young boys they’re fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They don’t give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It ain’t what they call rock and roll
And the Sultans played Creole

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
‘Thank you goodnight now it’s time to go home’
and he makes it fast with one more thing
‘We are the Sultans of Swing’

You walk out on the high wire
You’re a dancer on thin ice
You pay no heed to the danger
And less to advice
Your footsteps are forbidden
But with a knowledge of your sin
You throw your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind

And you go dancing through doorways
Just to see what you will find
Leaving nothing to interfere
With the crazy balance of your mind
And when you finally reappear
At the place where you came in
You’ve thrown your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind

It takes love over gold
And mind over matter
To do what you do that you must
When the things that you hold
Can fall and be shattered
Or run through your fingers like dust

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsuss serenade
Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
Finds a streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it?

Juliet says hey it’s Romeo you nearly gave me a heart attack
He’s underneath the window she’s singing hey la my boyfriend’s back
You shoudn’t come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it?

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart
And I forget I forget the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

Come up on different streets they both were streets of shame
Both dirty both mean yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me as I was just another one of your deals?

Well you can fall for chains of silver you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything you promised me thick and thin
Now you just say oh Romeo yeah you know I used to have a scene with him

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above I’ll love you till I die
There’s a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?

I can’t do the talk like the talk on the TV
And I can’t do a love song like the way its meant to be
I can’t do everything but I’d do anything for you
Can’t do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat the bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie I’d do the stars with you any time

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above Ill love you till I die
There’s a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsuss serenade
Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it?

Getting crazy on the waltzers but it’s the life that I choose
Sing about the sixblade sing about the switchback and a torture tattoo
And I been riding on a ghost train where the cars they scream and slam
And I don’t know where I’ll be tonight but I’d always tell you where I am

In a screaming ring of faces I seen her standing in the light
She had a ticket for the races just like me she was a victim of the night
I put a hand upon the lever said let it rock and let it roll
I had the one arm bandit fever there was an arrow through my heart and my soul

And the big wheel keep on turning neon burning up above
And I’m just high on the world
Come on and take a low ride with me girl
On the tunnel of love

It’s just the danger when you’re riding at your own risk
She said you are the perfect stranger she said baby let’s keep it like this
It’s just a cake walk twisting baby step right up and say
Hey mister give me two give me two cos any two can play

And the big wheel keep on turning neon burning up above
And I’m just high on the world
Come on and take a low ride with me girl
On the tunnel of love

Well it’s been money for muscle another whirligig
Money for muscle and another girl I dig
Another hustle just to make it big
And rockaway rockaway

And girl it looks so pretty to me just like it always did
Like the spanish city to me when we were kids
Oh girl it looks so pretty to me just like it always did
Like the spanish city to me when we were kids

She took off a silver locket she said remember me by this
She put her hand in my pocket I got a keepsake and a kiss
And in the roar of the dust and diesel I stood and watched her walk away
I could have caught up with her easy enough but something must have made me stay

And the big wheel keep on turning neon burning up above
And I’m just high on the world
Come on and take a low ride with me girl
On the tunnel of love

And now I’m searching through these carousels and the carnival arcades
Searching everywhere from steeplechase to palisades
In any shooting gallery where promises are made
To rockaway rockaway from cullercoats and whitley bay out to rockaway

And girl it looks so pretty to me like it always did
Like the spanish city to me when we were kids
Girl it looks so pretty to me like it always did
Like the spanish city to me when we were kids

It’s a mystery to me – the game commences
For the usual fee – plus expenses
Confidential information – contained in a diary
This is my investigation – not a public inquiry

I go checking out the reports – digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts in this line of work
Treachery and treason – there’s always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason I still can’t get used to it

And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of lies
Blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes

Scarred for life – no compensation
Private investigations

Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s

See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s a millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s

I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the camera
Man we could have some fun
And he’s up there, what’s that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin’ on the bongoes like a chimpanzee
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your chicks for free

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s, Lord

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you’ll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you’ll no longer burn
To be brothers in arm

Through these fields of destruction
Baptism of fire
I’ve witnessed your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There’s so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun’s gone to hell
And the moon’s riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But it’s written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We’re fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah, the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

He do the song about the sweet lovin’ woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Johnny and he’ll tell you the story
Hand me down my walkin’ shoes
Here come Johnny with the power and the glory
Backbeat the talkin’ blues
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah, the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

He do the song about the sweet lovin’ woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

And after all the violence and double talk
There’s just a song in the trouble and the strife
You do the walk, you do the walk of life

There’s gotta be a record of you some place
You gotta be on somebody’s books
The lowdown – a picture of your face
Your injured looks

The sacred and profane
The pleasure and the pain
Somewhere your fingerprints remain concrete
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

A lady-killer – regulation tattoo
Silver spurs on his heels
Says – what can I tell you as I’m standing next to you
She threw herself under my wheels
Oh it’s a dangerous road
And a hazardous load
And the fireworks over liberty expode in the heat
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

A three-chord symphony crashes into space
The moon is hanging upside down
I don’t know why it is I’m still on the case
It’s a ravenous town
And you still refuse to be traced
Seems to me such a waste
And every victory has a taste that’s bittersweet
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

Instrumental

We had no way of staying afloat
We had to leave on the ferry boat
Economic refugees
On the run to Germany
We had the back of Maggie’s hand
Times were tough in Geordieland
We got wor tools and working gear
And humped it all from Newcastle to here

Why aye man, why aye, why aye man
Why aye man, why aye, why aye man

We’re the nomad tribes, travelling boys
In the dust and dirt and the racket and the noise
Drills and hammers, diggers and picks
Mixing concrete, laying bricks
There’s English, Irish, Scots, the lot
United Nation’s what we’ve got
Brickies, chippies, every trade
German building, british-made

Why aye man, why aye, why aye man
Why aye man, why aye, why aye man

Nae more work on Maggie’s farm
Hadaway down the autobahn
Mine’s a portacabin bed
Or a bunk in a nissen hut instead

There’s plenty deutschmarks here to earn
And German tarts are wunderschön
German beer is chemical-free
Germany’s alreet with me
Sometimes I miss my river Tyne
But you’re my pretty fraulein
Tonight we’ll drink the old town dry
Keep wor spirit levels high

Why aye man, why aye, why aye man
Why aye man, why aye, why aye man

i’m going to san bernardino
ring-a-ding-ding
milkshake mixers
that’s my thing, now
these guys bought
a heap of my stuff
and i gotta see a good thing
sure enough, now
or my name’s not kroc
that’s kroc with a ‘k’
like ‘crocodile’
but not spelled that way, yeah
it’s dog eat dog
rat eat rat
kroc-style
boom, like that

the folks line up
all down the street
and i’m seeing this girl
devour her meat, now
and then i get it, wham
as clear as day
my pulse begins to hammer
and i hear a voice say:
these boys have
got this down
oughtta be a one of these
in every town
these boys have
got the touch
it’s clean as a whistle
and it don’t cost much
wham, bam
you don’t wait long
shake, fries
patty, you’re gone
and how about that
friendly name?
heck, every little thing
oughtta stay the same
or my name’s not kroc
that’s kroc with a ‘k’
like ‘crocodile’
but not spelled that way, now
it’s dog eat dog
rat eat rat
kroc-style
boom, like that

you gentlemen
ought to expand
you’re going to need
a helping hand, now
so, gentlemen
well, what about me?
we’ll make a little
business history, now
or my name’s not kroc
call me ray
like ‘crocodile’
but not spelled that way, now
it’s dog eat dog
rat eat rat
kroc-style
boom, like that

well we build it up
and i buy ‘em out
but, man they made me
grind it out, now
they open up a new place
flipping meat
so i do, too
right across the street
i got the name
i need the town
they sell up in the end
and it all shuts down
sometimes you gotta
be an s.o.b.
you wanna make a dream
reality
competition?
send ‘em south
if they’re gonna drown
put a hose in their mouth
do not pass ‘go’
go straight to hell
i smell that
meat hook smell
or my name’s not kroc
that’s kroc with a ‘k’
like ‘crocodile’
but not spelled that way, now
it’s dog eat dog
rat eat rat
kroc-style
boom, like that

The drinking dens are spilling out
There’s staggering in the square
There’s lads and lasses falling about
And a crackling in the air
Down around the dungeon doors
The shelters in the queues
Everybody’s looking for
Somebody’s arms to fall into
And it’s what it is
It’s what it is now

There’s frost on the graves and the monuments
But the taverns are warm in town
People curse the government
And shovel hot food down
The lights are out in city hall
The castle and the keep
The moon shines down upon it all
The legless and asleep

And it’s cold on a tollgate
With the wagons creeping through
Cold on a tollgate
God knows what I could do with you
And It’s what it is
It’s what it is now

The garrison sleeps and the citadel
With the ghosts and the ancient stones
High up on the parapet
A Scottish piper stands alone
And high on the wind
The highland drums begin to roll
And something from the past just comes
And stares into my soul

And it’s cold on a tollgate
Where the Caledonian blues
Cold on a tollgate
God knows what I could do with you
And It’s what it is
It’s what it is now
What it is
It’s what it is now

There’s a chink of light
There’s a burning wick
There’s a lantern in the tower
Wee Willie Winkie with a candlestick
Still writing songs in the wee wee hours
On Charlotte Street I take
A walking stick from my hotel
The ghost of Dirty Dick
Is still in search of Little Nell
And it’s what it is
It’s what it is now
Oh it’s what it is
What it is now

A million miles our vagabond heels
Clocked up beneath the clouds
They’re counting down to show time
When we do it for real with the crowds
Air miles are owing
But they don’t come for free
And they don’t give you any for pain
But if it’s all for nothing
All the roadrunning’s
Been in vain
The rim shots come down like cannon fire
And thunder off the wall
There’s a man in every corner
And each one is giving his all
This is my fife
This is my drum
So you never will hear me complain
And if it’s all for nothing
All the roadrunning’s
Been in vain
All the roadrunning
All the roadrunning
Well if you’re inclined
To go up on the wall
It can only be fast and high
And those who don’t like the danger
Soon find something different to try
When there’s only a ringin’ in your ears
And an echo down memory lane
But if it’s all for nothing
All the roadrunning’s
Been in vain
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning
The show’s packing up
I sit and watch the convoy
Leaving town
There’s no pretending I’m not a fool,
For riding around and around
Like the pictures you keep of your old wall of death
You showed me one time on the plane
But if it’s all for nothing
All the roadrunning’s
Been in vain
A million miles of vagabond sky
Clocked up above the clouds
I’m still your man for the roaming
For as long as there’s roamin’ allowed
There’ll be a rider
And there’ll be a wall
As long as the dreamer remains
And if it’s all for nothing
All the roadrunning’s
Been in vain
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning
All the roadrunning, all the roadrunning